I was walking a Cross a Brig and the brig was cricking wile I was walking on it i looked ahead then I notice... that there was a house I got close and on to the lawn there was lots of plants and the house was  belt in a tree then I notice it was raining so I  went in the  house. in the  house it was warm and cold and then I saw stirs so i went up them then i saw a stick man I side hi he was nice he asked me if i wanted a Easter egg I side yes please he  gave me one Easter egg then a giant robot came because he wanted to stile the Easter egg so we had to hid we  went and hid we where safe i side tank you he side by I run home and played outside then mum called me inside because it was EASTER I had heps of Easter egg.I had lots of fun at the mystery house but I did NOT like the robot because it was big and it was going to stile my Easter egg from the stik man who gave it to me.



This is my draft piece of writing. Please leave a comment about what iIdid well and what I need to woke on.                          

Easter

On easter monday it  my was My birthday!
I had so much fun eating The chocolate bunnies.
We had an easter egg hunt. The easter eggs where in good places. We had to look very hard.
This is what we did first we had to wait out side until we were allowed inside mum called as in. The next ting we did was we found them and then mum stated to make the cake. The cake shape was a number 8. At the end we had one  more easter egg hunt and then we had cake. I had the best bithday and easter ever.